Episode Transcript
[00:00:01] Speaker A: Coming up on Matt's Impact,
[00:00:05] Speaker B: something along those lines is what I've seen a lot of. That's not always the case, but I have seen that be one of the driving forces when I'm talking with a woman.
[00:00:14] Speaker C: I didn't just find sobriety in the home. I found Jesus.
[00:00:19] Speaker A: Amen.
[00:00:19] Speaker C: And that's literally what made that transformation in my life.
[00:00:23] Speaker A: Before we really dive into this, I do want to ask two quick questions.
[00:00:27] Speaker B: That's a great question.
[00:00:28] Speaker C: That is a great question.
[00:00:41] Speaker A: Hello, everyone, and welcome back to another episode of Max Impact here on the Mars Hill Network, where we look to make a maximum impact for the kingdom of God. If you joined us on our last podcast episode, I talked with Brian Mullen and Jackson Young from. From the men's home here in Syracuse, New York, with Adult and Teen Challenge. And that was a wonderful conversation and was very insightful. But I'm glad to continue this conversation because I think there's just so much more we can talk about. Especially when I talked with them, we talked more about the men's side of things, but today we're going to talk about the women's side of things. And I have two wonderful young women here who are going to speak into that side of the conversation. So two to my left, far right, we have Emily Cameone. She is the executive assistant to executive leadership at Adult and Teen Challenge. And she's a wonderful help with the men's home and just Adult and Teen Challenge here in Syracuse, also helping the women's home. And to my left, right next to her, is Tanya Wright. And Tanya is actually she's the assistant director of the Southern New England Women's Home. So we're really glad that you're here in Syracuse to join us for this conversation.
And ladies, welcome. Welcome to Max Impact.
[00:01:54] Speaker B: Thank you so much for having us.
Very happy to be here.
[00:01:56] Speaker A: Yeah, no, you're very welcome. And so, of course, I want to get into everything about this topic, about addiction, especially among women, and how we can overcome that, especially through Christ. But I wanted to just start from the beginning, how you ladies even ended up at Adult and Teen Challenge in the first place to serve in this capacity. So, Emily, I'll start with you. How did you get involved with the Ministry of Adult and Teen Challenge to be working with them today?
[00:02:23] Speaker B: Yeah, so usually somebody who goes through the program ends up ends up working for the program. That was not the case with me. I didn't go through a program.
I don't have a history with addiction personally, but I grew up in the Syracuse area. And growing up in Syracuse and in the church of Syracuse, I knew of Teen Challenge. I knew that there was a men's home in Syracuse. I knew that we didn't have a women's home.
But I actually. I went to church with the lead director for New York, and when they were looking at opening the women's home, my husband and I had just been married and felt like there was a job transition that was gonna be happening. We were praying about that together. And he actually came across the job posting from Rashad, our lead director, and said that it sounded like something that I would be good at, but he didn't know anything about Teen Challenge. And so I said, oh, it's ministry. I don't know if that's. That you want me to be doing right now.
It takes up a lot of time.
Ministry does. And we had just been newly married, so I didn't know if that was gonna be a good fit. But I ended up reaching out to Rashad, and I sent him my resume, and he said, you know, I was actually just talking to my wife about maybe talking to you. So I think it's great that you're interested and had an interview. We went back and forth a little bit, and brought me on as, at that time, admin assistant.
So I'd been there almost two years.
[00:03:54] Speaker A: Wow, that's wonderful. And I'm glad that the Lord, through the Holy Spirit, kind of, you know, as you're thinking about it, Rashad's like, oh, let me consider her.
[00:04:03] Speaker B: It was cool. It was really wild. And just felt like this was the next step that the Lord had for our family.
[00:04:09] Speaker A: Amen. Well, thank you so much for sharing that, Emily. And how about you, Tanya, because you are, like we said, working with the Southern New England Teen Challenge. So I want you to explain how you got involved there with that program, but also what brings you to Syracuse here today?
[00:04:23] Speaker C: Okay. Yeah.
So I came through the program in Taunton, Massachusetts, which is our southern New England women's home. So I came in as a resident, I know, broken and hopeless and addicted. I was drinking myself out of existence.
But I got to that point where I knew I needed to change something.
And the Lord used my bosses at the time to find the program. I had never heard of Adult and Teen Challenge. I did not know the Lord before I came to Adult and Teen Challenge.
And, you know, God just used that. And I called, I spoke to the admissions people, and I was. I was sold. You know, I was like, all right, this. This just sounds like the place I Need to be. I don't know what it was. I don't know what. What. It really enticed me because everything about it sounded really hard.
[00:05:14] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:05:15] Speaker C: And, you know, so I was like, I don't know. But so I just went, and within a few days, I accepted the Lord, and I just never looked back. And I was so grateful. And, you know, so I came through the program, I did an apprenticeship, and then I was hired on as staff.
So I served in the program development department for a while, and I still kind of. Do. I still oversee that.
And then, you know, I stepped up to program supervisor, and now the Lord has entrusted me to be an assistant director there at the home. So it's been a journey. Yes.
[00:05:52] Speaker A: No, for sure. It definitely sounds like it. But I'm glad because sometimes we take those rocky roads, but ultimately end up at the spot where the Lord wants us to be. And so I just wanted to know quickly, before we move on, how did you end up here in Syracuse? Because I met you just the other day, and you've been helping out the Syracuse home for a little bit.
[00:06:11] Speaker C: Yeah. So periodically we make a trip up to Syracuse just to kind of do a check in, see if everything's going all right, help out the house, you know, because. Yeah, it's just, you know, we all kind of work together to try to help in every capacity that we can. So. Yeah. So I'm up for a few days to. To help with the home and.
[00:06:31] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:06:32] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:06:33] Speaker A: Well, that's. That's great. Thank you so much. And, you know, Emily and I both, being natives to Syracuse means a lot to you. Come and help out with this ministry here in Syracuse and, you know, appreciate you taking the time to come on Max Impact. You know, I don't think when you came here, you were expecting to be on a podcast.
[00:06:49] Speaker C: Not really. So.
[00:06:51] Speaker A: So I appreciate your. Your flexibility there, and we'll see how the Lord's going to use this.
Yeah. So I'm really excited, too, because the women's home has. Here in Syracuse has been kind of in the works for a number of years. And it was sometime last year, correct me if I'm wrong, that it opened.
[00:07:10] Speaker B: It was 2024, actually. And we had, like, we took in our first resident, November 2024. Okay. And then we had, like, our grand opening in the spring, summer ish. Of 2025.
[00:07:25] Speaker A: Okay, gotcha. So that's cool. So basically fully operational as of 2025, which is wonderful. And, you know, I was there a few years ago just seeing the bare Bones of the home. And I was able to check it out the other day and see how it's been transformed into a home. So it's really nice. We talked a little bit on the other episode about what Adult and Teen Challenge is, so I don't want to necessarily rehash that, but I do want to have you ladies explain what the Adult and Teen Challenge women's home does for women who come in. So, Emily and Tanya, can you share a little bit from your experience, like, what that home does for women and how it serves women?
[00:08:04] Speaker B: Yeah, absolutely. With the women's program, like, it's important to recognize that while Adult and Teen Challenge serves men and women, men and women have different needs.
[00:08:15] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:08:16] Speaker B: And they. And a lot of us, like, we come from different backgrounds. We have different history.
And so with that, while the program is still a discipleship program, I'd like to say, like, we do.
We do the same work for the women's home, but there are other things that we do focus on.
But I know Tanya went through the program, so you might be able to speak a little bit more directly for what that looks like day to day.
[00:08:42] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah. I mean, there's less women's homes available, so it's a blessing that Syracuse has finally opened theirs, and you know that that's available in this area. So that's such a blessing. I'm so happy that God is working in this area as well. But, yeah, I mean, we. We definitely work, you know, around the same aspect as the men's homes. You know, the basic structure of the program is about the same. The curriculum's the same. The.
The Christ centered is the same, and that's really what makes the most difference.
But like she said, women have different needs. You know, they have children.
You know, they have just all these things, and it's easy to not go somewhere because of all, you know, the women feel they have these responsibilities. They feel, you know, they have too much going on. They can't take that time for themselves. They're too busy taking care of others and all of these things. So we allow them to kind of come in and really learn how to take care of themselves so that they can actually pour into their families and their friends and their relationships and their lives, because we need to restructure our thinking a little bit because we're so lost in the addiction aspect.
So it really helps to bring things back to the Word, who God says we are and how he wants us to operate in all of that.
So it's so amazing what God does in this home.
And like I say, the basics of the program are all the same, but what God does is really the miracle.
Yeah.
[00:10:23] Speaker A: Amen to that. Amen to that. And before we really dive into this, I do want to ask two quick questions just about the program, specifically the women's program, to the men's program, because, of course, the Dalton Tea Challenge, it's a discipleship program, and it does help with addiction recovery, whether it's from drugs or alcohol. But, I mean, with women, are there other things that you ladies tend to. To the women in the.
Like, if they are in desperate need of help, aside from drugs and alcohol, there are other things that you minister to them through?
[00:10:53] Speaker B: Yeah, I would say. I know that we have women that have come in that are navigating domestic violence. We have other women that are coming in navigating, like, severe depression and anxiety or eating disorders.
You know, we. We work on those things with them. I mean, we have clinical counseling available, like Christian clinical counseling, which I think is super important and needs to be at the heart, not just. I mean, if I can say that, frankly, like, not just of, like, addiction counseling and navigating addiction, but in the Christian life. I think that that's a really important thing, because we all have stuff.
[00:11:29] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:11:30] Speaker B: But I think that the heart of what we focus on and when I was in the women's home, what I focused on with the ladies was instead of focusing on, like, the actual addiction and what they came in with, it was because addiction isn't the actual issue.
Right. So, like, the actual issue is. Has to be a heart issue.
[00:11:53] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:11:54] Speaker B: And so I didn't worry so much about what was going on on the outside. Those are all, like. Those are all symptoms of a deeper issue. And so I focused more on cultivating an environment where women can learn about the love of God, how they can learn that they're loved daughters, they can have a renewed identity in Christ. Because when we get that sorted out, a lot of those other things tend to deal with themselves.
It's being secure in who God created you to be that makes the difference. And so I think that the men's program, they talk about that in a lot of ways, but I know that's something that we do focus on with the women is saying, you know, all of these issues, whether it's like, promiscuity or eating disorders and all of those things, like, it comes back to an identity crisis. And when we get that right, that makes a huge difference for the rest of their life. Because when you're Secure as a woman. And you, like, you can live your life secure with your kids, with your husband, like, with your family.
That changes everything. All of those, like, generational things that we deal with, they tend to fall to the wayside because you're secure in who God's called you to be.
[00:13:09] Speaker A: Amen. That is so true. I mean, that's the same sentiment from the conversation I have with the men. I'm really glad that it's the same way, and I definitely want to get more into that. But before we do, Tanya, you had mentioned, like, the women who come into the home. Some of them. Some of them may just be single women, but others may be mothers, others may be caretakers. And now they've kind of been pulled away from that environment. So how do you. How does the women's home help those women even take care of those people when really their focus at that present time is to take care of themselves and allow, as Emily was talking about, the Lord, to do the work on them.
[00:13:46] Speaker C: Yeah. So, I mean, a lot of times what happens when they come in is, you know, they have their. Their children somewhere, hopefully with family, somebody safe, and we allow them to just come in. And we're big on restoration.
[00:13:59] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:14:00] Speaker C: You know, we want to.
We want to allow that relationship to be rebuilt, but in an accountability setting so that everybody feels safe in the manner.
Not only the people taking care of their children now, but the children, the moms, they need to feel that sense of safety, because that's a huge part of it.
A lot of the times they're just running.
They're automatically on that defense. They're automatically in that flight mentality.
So to. To bring them in, Give them a place where they can stop breathe and be safe and really focus on what their root issues were, what. What brought them to where they are now, you know, and then that helps. You know, we do Sunday visits weekly so, you know, the kids can come in. We always set up places that they can be for visits. And. And that's always a beautiful thing to watch, is just to watch. Like, you know, that's something for the residents forward to, you know, because the. The days are long in Teen Challenge, but. But the weeks are short. And I say that all the time. And I'm like, because. Because the next thing you know, is Sunday again, you know, and you're like, oh, praise God. Like, the. The families are coming today, so. And so gets to. To have a visit today, and. And you get to see that breakthrough in them, you know, when they persevere through the week that they get that benefit of, you know, the structure and the safety that that comes with learning to reparent, you know, so. Because that's, that's a lot of it too, is learning to, to, you know, parent in a healthy way, the way that God calls us to parent, you know, because that, that is a huge part of it.
[00:15:46] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:15:47] Speaker C: So that's a beautiful thing.
[00:15:48] Speaker A: That is a beautiful thing. And it plays into the. This, the safety and the security you were talking about too. That really, in my opinion, that would just really expedite tremendously their process of healing to know that they're just not separated from everything entirely, but they're in a good environment away from those other variables that cause them to suffer in the way that they are. But real quickly, before we move on, it just kind of popped in my mind. So say the ladies don't have somebody to take care of them. I don't know, like, the situations might be different for ladies. And so by stripping them away, the children person, they have nobody. Like, what do you. What does the women's program do in that situation for that woman to help?
[00:16:36] Speaker C: So we have other resources. Like there are women in children's homes, like the Lioness and the Lamb that are still Christ centered. They're kind of sistery programs, but they can incorporate the women with the children if they're not able to separate from them. I don't know if you have any other thing to speak into that, but there are. We have other resources that we can kind of guide them to as opposed to. Because we can't take the children with them for sure. You know.
[00:17:03] Speaker B: Yeah, that's not something that like our organization at this time, like the Northeast, that is, is something that we're able to accommodate. But we do have connection with the greater adult and Teen Challenge across not just the US but like all over the world.
[00:17:18] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:17:19] Speaker B: And there are. I know that on the east coast there is a specific, like Teen Challenge women and Children's program.
I want to say that it's in Virginia, but I'm not positive.
[00:17:30] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:17:30] Speaker B: That we will refer out to and make those calls for them because that's important. We want people to get the help that they need. And we don't want, you know, if we're not able to accommodate something, we want to be able to assist them with that. But we also like, will help do like supervised visits and work with CPS and like all of these like organizations as well to help them be in a place where they can have custody of their kids. Or partial custody of their kids. Again, we want to see that restoration with families.
[00:18:00] Speaker A: Yeah, no, amen. And I'm glad that there's at least some other partners and resources you guys can connect them with. But that is a prayer request, you know, for this women's home in this area, is maybe for that ability to. To be here.
So. Because. Because it's great. They can go to Virginia and you have these other programs. But. But yeah, just. It would be super cool to have something kind of close to home for them, especially for ladies in this region of New York State. So, yeah, I really. You kind of jumped ahead of me in the conversation.
[00:18:30] Speaker B: Sorry about that.
[00:18:31] Speaker A: No, it's great. It's. No, because it's a great way for me to segue into it, that this whole concept of addiction being a deeper issue than just addiction. It's something that's in the heart. So I really want to get to that, because the answer is Christ. But what are the heart issues that you see ladies deal with?
And maybe other issues. Maybe there's, like, interpersonal, relational issues that these ladies are dealing with on top of that. What are those issues that you're seeing these ladies deal with that maybe lead to the addiction? And from those, how do you then kind of get them to the next step to recovery?
[00:19:07] Speaker B: Yeah, I've seen a lot of addiction come out of trauma or trying to navigate trauma or something along those lines is what I've seen a lot of. That's not always the case, but I have seen that be one of the driving forces.
When I'm talking with a woman and say, it's a question of when did this start? They can tell me how old they were when they first picked up a cigarette or had their first drink.
But I like to go a little bit further back to say, tell me a little bit about your childhood.
What did you experience? And sometimes it's. I don't want to talk about that. And that's my first clue. Okay. Well, when you're ready, I think that that might be a really great spot to start with the Lord.
[00:19:56] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:19:56] Speaker B: To talk about your childhood and. And see what the Holy Spirit can minister to from that experience of your childhood. Other times, it's, you know, trying to cope with broken families.
If you grew up in chaos, it's likely that you're going to reproduce chaos.
And so understanding that if you. If somebody grew up around a parent that's an alcoholic, it's not unlikely for a child to grow up and be an alcoholic. And so it's understanding how the generation impacts the generation that comes after them. Does that make sense?
[00:20:32] Speaker A: Yeah, it does, because even the Bible talks about it, that the sins of one generation can fall onto the third, into the fourth, and generations and generations, as it says. So definitely very important. And do you want to add anything to what Emily said, Tanya?
[00:20:45] Speaker C: Trauma, definitely. That is definitely a huge, huge factor. Mental health in general is a huge, you know, part in that as well. It's really anything that's life controlling anything that, you know, that takes over your mind in such a way that the only way to figure that out is to numb it. And that's right. And that's to change, you know, that changes the trajectory of their lives. So we want to turn it back around and, you know, get them to understand that that's not who they are. They are not their trauma, they are not their mental health, they are not their depression, their anger, their rejection, any of that. They're not those things.
But things have happened to them that they need to deal with. And that's why it's great that we do have access to clinical counseling, things like that, just those kind of tools to really help them dig in and, you know, overcome those things. Because that is, that is what we want to. Everything is Christ centered. So that's, again, the most important thing because the Word is where they're going to really learn how to reframe those things in their mind.
[00:21:45] Speaker A: Amen. Yeah, that's great. And just to speak a little on my experience, I kind of got into it a little bit last time, but for me, yeah, trauma, I think, was a big reason why I even got into like, substance abuse in the first place, because I was dealing with things as a teenager. You go through that rebellious phase, especially when family dynamics aren't the best. That's how I got into it. And it literally was to, as you said, numb pain. Yeah, I just didn't want to think about it. I didn't want to deal with it. And of course, coming to know the Lord absolutely helped.
But there are real chains that need to be broken and. And Christ needs to be the one to break those chains. And not only for salvation, but deliverance through that salvation is so important.
And so I want to also ask you ladies, because you've identified these issues, and now maybe some ladies, as you're talking to them or you just encounter them, they know these issues exist. They know that this is their issue. This is why they're doing this stuff. But then hurdles come that prevent them from seeking the help that they need. And making attempts to recover, especially through a program like Adult and Teen Challenge, that will definitely hold them accountable. With love, of course. But so what are those hurdles that you've at least seen in ladies that you've encountered whether before they start the program or why you have them in the program?
[00:23:12] Speaker B: That's a great question.
[00:23:13] Speaker C: That is a great question.
A lot of, I mean again, there's family, you know, when they are caretakers, when they have all these responsibilities, it could be that they own a home and they, you know, they're not working while they're in the program. So if they don't have the financials to maintain the home and the, you know, the car and all these things. Yeah, you know, that's necessities of life. Yeah, yeah. But it, they, they are just that they are things. And God can recover that in the, in the long run. But, but yeah, a lot of times that will stop people, you know, their responsibilities will stop people, their jobs. Anything like that can be that mental stronghold to be the reason why you justify you, that you can't get help, you know. But again, God will restore all of that to you when you're turning your life to him and surrendering those things. Because once you surrender those things, he will give it back to you in abundance. And that's.
So that's why I would encourage people to not let those things be their hold up the reason why they don't seek the help that they need. Because if they know they need the help, that's the first step, you know, and then they can go from there. But it really just to see the surrender and to take that step of faith in knowing that God's got them and that they can recover.
[00:24:36] Speaker A: Amen. Thank you for sharing that. Tanya and Emily, how about you, what would you like to add to that? What hurdles you may have seen or do?
[00:24:43] Speaker B: See, still I see that, you know, some people are not ready.
They're just not ready and their family wants them to be ready. And so a lot of the calls that we would get would be from parents, aunts, uncles, kids even, you know, like grown adult children who are calling for their parent.
But when the person doesn't want that yet or they're not ready for it, the program can't work. It's, it's designed to work with somebody who's ready to surrender. You know, we've had people who come in, women and men that come into the program because they're being forced and I mean once the detox happens, typically it's, I mean Usually a week, two weeks tops, and they're back out. You know, they leave. And. And that's fine. I don't take that personally. I've never taken that personally. Yeah, because it's not, it's not personal.
It's.
Their heart is genuinely not ready. And when their heart is ready, they'll walk through the doors willingly.
But yeah, there's absolutely like the practical things, like the financial responsibility, the children, the family, and those types of things. Other people I've seen are on like, housing assistance, and if they don't have access to like their caseworker for a certain period of time, they can lose their housing assistance. And that can be something that keeps them away from entering a program long term. And it's a 12, like 10 to 12 month program.
[00:26:16] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:26:17] Speaker B: And then if people stay on afterwards in an apprenticeship, like they're staying on for another at least six months. So you're looking at almost a year and a half, potentially longer, where they're having to navigate what happens with my assistance. Will I lose my house? Will I lose my apartment? Those types of things can be really scary when you elevate them above the Lord.
[00:26:41] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:26:41] Speaker B: You know, when we put that above God, we put our finances above God, we love that more. It's almost impossible to be able to surrender. We have to bring that down to the appropriate level and bring not even that. We have to bring God to where he sits. He sits on the throne. You know, our things do not sit on the throne. And so. But again, all of those things have to be like, you have to do them yourself. Nobody can force you to get to that place. And so a lot of what we're doing is we're praying for these women and these men that the Lord would do a work on their heart where they will be able to release those things to the Lord.
[00:27:23] Speaker A: Amen to that. Yeah. Just as you're talking, it makes me think of the. The power of choice in the matter and that choice being to surrender. Right, but. But again, yeah, that's. That's the whole concept of free will with the Lord. He never forces us to be a child of God. He gives us that free choice because that choice is made when our hearts are in that right condition to make that choice. And so I actually do want to talk a little bit more about that later because I think that's so interesting. But I just am curious because I'm sure you see ladies come in of all varieties, maybe a lot of non Christian women, but I'm sure you see Christian Women come in. I don't know. I know with the men's home, they have seen Christian men come in, maybe men who've relapsed, who've been in the program before.
But I do want to ask, like, do you typically see Christian women come into the program struggling with these things, whether it's addiction or domestic violence or the eating disorders, like all the things that your program serves, intends to do, you see a lot of Christian women come in with those issues. And if you do, maybe you don't, but if you do, like, how does that happen? Why does that happen?
[00:28:35] Speaker C: So, I mean, in my experience, yes, once they get to a point where you're, you're committing to teen Challenge, it's.
They are already a believer. Yeah, you know, their, their basis is a believer. I myself was not. And I'm, you know, so I didn't just find sobriety in the home, I found Jesus.
[00:28:54] Speaker A: Amen.
[00:28:55] Speaker C: And that's literally what made that transformation in my life. That's made me want to strive harder, that made me want to seek his heart and how I can align with that.
But even if you're a believer before you come into the program, that doesn't mean that your life is all peaches and cream and that things didn't happen and that brought you to where they are. But praise God that they're seeking that correct mindset. They're seeking the Lord, they're seeking that higher than themselves bit, because that is what's gonna help them really focus on, you know, who they are at the core of them. And it's so important that they know that.
[00:29:37] Speaker A: Yeah, of course. And do you wanna add anything to that, Emily, or.
[00:29:41] Speaker B: I mean, I was just gonna echo exactly what she said in that most of the time there's some sort of faith based background. A lot of the women that I've seen come into the Syracuse home that is like, grew up in, in the church and went their own way for a while.
Other times women come in, I know that we even had like a couple specific residents where they were in the process of recovery and had recently come to the Lord and through that experience with the Lord, they wanted to find a faith based program.
Other times people are mandated into the program because of what their addiction led to. So it does vary.
But more often than not, we do see people who have had some sort of experience in faith coming through at least the women's home.
[00:30:34] Speaker A: Amen. And basically it sounds like too that when you lose out on the, as a Christian woman, that is when you Lose out on the tenants of Christ. That's what makes you fall back in when you forget all that. And, you know, that's really interesting. And so I did want to ask this question. It just came to my mind about, you know, you'd mentioned, like, trauma as being a thing that maybe leads to addictions and eating disorders and all this stuff, but one of them is domestic violence. When you said that, I've, like, it's really been on my mind. So I'm just curious, like, about how many cases of that you see. Do you see a lot of domestic violence cases where. Whether, like, women are coming in the home because of domestic violence or they're getting into these other issues like addiction with, you know, drugs and alcohol because of domestic violence? Are you seeing that a lot? And. And how do you kind of navigate those situations compared to maybe just other situations?
[00:31:29] Speaker B: Like I said earlier, when. When you grow up in chaos, you produce chaos.
And so I think that a lot of women fall into what they would classify as a toxic relationship, but it feels normal to them because that's what they're used to. They're not used to someone speaking respectfully to them.
And so they might not even classify what they're in as a domestic violence situation.
They would just say, yeah, it's probably not the healthiest relationship.
[00:31:59] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:32:01] Speaker B: So I know with the Syracuse Women's Home, I know of, like, one specific instance where that was the case where. Where it was domestic violence, like, motivated. But I'm not. I can't speak to the other women's homes if that's something that you guys see often.
[00:32:18] Speaker C: I mean, like, you say, they may not realize that the relationship that they're in is considered domestic violence. They may just think it's, you know, oh, he's got his moments, or, oh, you know, we fight, and it's okay. And it's all of this stuff, you know, So I think a lot of that is tied into the lifestyle itself. You know, you. You find these people who will just have that temporary satisfaction, and it doesn't matter all the. The red flags and all the. All the things that are going off in your head. You just want that satisfaction in the moment. And that's. That's where it falls into this consistent pattern of, you know, guy after guy after guy. And it. You know, it's. It's that unhealthy mindset that also goes along with that. But that it often, like I say, it just kind of goes with the lifestyle, you know, and that's. That's the Unfortunate part of it. And, you know, there's so much more value in every single woman that they don't see in themselves, you know, so that's where we really try to encourage them when they are in situations like that, you know, that they are worth so much more than that and that God wants so much more for them in. In their life and with who they would be expected to partner with and all of that. You know, it's. So we. We try to really encourage them in those. You know, sometimes it is about breaking that soul tie. It's about, you know, that this is God's time to separate them from that so that they can start to see things clearly.
[00:33:51] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:33:51] Speaker C: Because they can't in the moment, you know.
[00:33:55] Speaker A: Yeah. I find that so interesting that, like, basically you're saying domestic violence. It's a lot broader of a definition than you think. Right. Like, we think of domestic violence as maybe a. Oh, a guy is beating up on a girl, or a girl beating up on a guy. You know, we just think of it as like physical violence and physical abuse. But it could actually be much more mental abuse, emotional abuse. Like, I've heard before, people say, if you break up with me, I'm gonna kill myself. Like, that's domestic violence. That's harassment. And it's very manipulative. And that's why some people get stuck in those relationships. I've heard of those cases. And it breaks my heart. Like I tell those people, that's harassment. Like, you gotta seek help for that. And I do want to actually get into that part of the conversation about seeking help, because again, ladies may have varying situations. I want to start maybe with the most difficult one, which is, I think, where we're at right now. Maybe some of these ladies are in these situations, addiction or eating disorder, something else, because of domestic violence. Like, they're trying to cope, and then at the same time they want to seek help. But maybe if their partner found out, things would not go well for them. So how do ladies, like, could you speak to a lady who may be watching who is going through domestic violence and dealing with these situations? How can she seek help? What would you recommend to her if she feels so scared? Like her life's almost like basically her life is on the line. Whether it's because of physical, like, death, a threat to. Or because she's just going to go deeper into this addiction and that will end up taking her away.
[00:35:31] Speaker B: Yeah. That's intense.
[00:35:33] Speaker A: It is intense. I'm so sorry. No, you're fine.
[00:35:36] Speaker B: But it's Real life too, you know.
So I would say that if that's something that you're going through, I would hope that if you have one safe person, just one safe person that you can talk to to get help. Like it, it's scary, but there's places that will like short term make you safe. We have Vera House.
[00:36:06] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:36:06] Speaker B: In Syracuse, New York that does like, specifically will assist with getting women and children out of that like direct, painful situation.
But also churches, if you have a safe church that's near you, I would hope that somebody, a pastor or representative at that church would be able to assist with getting you where you need to go. Especially if you know that you want to be at an adult and teen challenge home.
[00:36:35] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:36:36] Speaker B: A lot of our churches in the area know that there's a women's home, that there's involvement. And if they don't, if they can call our center or call our Hope line, they'll be directed to the closest one.
And we will, we will go above and beyond to not only make you safe, but provide you options. I've been on the other end of those phone calls where somebody is calling and they're whispering on the other line because they don't want somebody to hear them and you're having to have like these obscure like 7 minute conversations and then they hang up and then they call back and you can't call them or you have to call a separate number to get a hold of them because it's a, it's a safe phone for them to use or a family member's phone, but they're not with that family member all the time. So there's a number of situations where things like this happen.
But the people that we have at our centers are so compassionate and so kind and want to show up for you.
So you have to take that step of faith yourself to somebody that you know is, is on your side, that is safe, that wants you to be safe and they're going to get you where you need to go.
[00:37:48] Speaker A: Amen. And would you like to add anything to that?
[00:37:51] Speaker C: I mean, I, I just agree. I pray that anybody going through that does have at least one safe person, one, one place they can find that they can, that they can get to safety and, and start, start that process. Because it isn't an easy step to take, but it's a necessary step when you're in a situation like that.
[00:38:13] Speaker A: No, for sure.
[00:38:14] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:38:15] Speaker A: And that's scary. I can't even imagine. But all those ladies deserve our prayers truly now to maybe make it A little less intense.
Just all other ladies in general, maybe they're not dealing with something that serious, but they're still dealing with an issue, addiction or eating disorder. But like you said, it's kind of a scary thought to go away for 10 to 12 months. So how do those ladies who are scared, how do they seek help? Like, what are your recommendations to them? To really seek help and to maybe alleviate the stress in their mind that if they get into a program like Adult and teen challenge, the 10 to 12 months will be worth it and everything's gonna be okay. What would you speak to that woman?
[00:38:55] Speaker C: I mean, I would just encourage them to reach out. Reach out to Teen Challenge. Talk to us. We do have a Hope line at the. It's 855404, Hope.
And they'll direct you to whatever center needs to be, you know, what is in your area, or at least to someone who can answer questions and, you know, walk you through what the process looks like, help you with other resources that may, you know, calm your nerves about all the things that you'll have to deal with. Because we work with those women, you know, we work with the courts, we work with the. Like she said that CPS and all of those things. We work with all of that. You know, we. We never deny anybody the necessary care that they need to help get things situated on their other end. Just because they're in a program doesn't mean that life stops.
[00:39:45] Speaker B: Right.
[00:39:46] Speaker C: You know, so we have to help in that, every aspect that we can. So I just encourage them to reach out and ask the questions because we're here. You know, everybody on the other end of that line is going to be someone who can help you in some way.
[00:39:58] Speaker A: Amen.
[00:39:59] Speaker B: Yeah, No, I think that's a thousand percent the truth.
[00:40:03] Speaker A: I really enjoyed my conversation with the ladies from Adult and Teen Challenge here on the Max Impact Podcast. And I've enjoyed every conversation on the Max Impact podcast. But our last episode, I talked to the men from Adult and Teen Challenge about this very same thing. If you haven't listened to that episode yet, please go check it out after you're finished with this one.
MaxImpact has been such a blessing to me to grow in my faith and serve the Lord by making a maximum impact for the kingdom of God. But sometimes I do struggle with the thought and wonder, am I actually making a maximum impact for the kingdom of God? Is the kingdom really benefiting from this podcast? And is anybody out there listening, being touched by the content that we share?
Well, we did get A letter from a listener who actually listens to the podcast from prison through the Mars Hill Network radio broadcast. We're going to call him dj. And this is what DJ had to say. He says, I have become a fan of your podcast Max Impact within the last seven months, and as a young man myself, it is nice to hear perspectives from young adults who are walking in the truth. Walking with Christ. He said that he was particularly blessed by the episodes about ministering on a college campus because he remembers the time that he was a college student and learned the true meaning of sacrifice and surrender. He told us to keep up the good work, but he's also hoping and praying that this podcast will be made available on the tablets that the prison provides them.
That really touched my heart, and that was such a blessed testimony. And maybe you are watching or listening out there and you have a similar testimony as DJ about how MaxImpact has helped make a maximum impact in your life for the Kingdom of God. If that's you, please leave a comment on this video or go to our Marsh Hill Network app and use the Shout out feature that's provided.
But also here at Mars Hill Network, all of our content, including the Max Impact podcast, is listener supported, which means we rely on you to continue this work and broadcasting the gospel making a maximum impact for the kingdom of God. So if you're willing to give a gift of support to continue this work, please go to our website, which you can see on the screen right behind me, marshillnetwork.org and you can make a donation there. Thank you so much in advance for helping us make a maximum impact for the kingdom of God. Now let's get back to the episode with the ladies and how they minister to women who are suffering from addiction and how to help them get out through Christ.
[00:42:40] Speaker B: The only other thing that I would say, like, I tend to lean on this other side of, like, tough love too, where I am, like, well, 10 to 12 months really isn't that long.
[00:42:51] Speaker C: No.
[00:42:52] Speaker A: Yeah, it's not.
[00:42:53] Speaker B: Where were you 12 months ago?
Do you want to be in the same place that you're at right now?
[00:42:59] Speaker A: Wow.
[00:42:59] Speaker B: Because if you don't and you want that bad enough, that stuff's gonna take care of itself.
[00:43:05] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:43:05] Speaker B: The Word says that if you seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, all other things be added unto you. And so when we fix our eyes on the Lord, we can trust that he's gonna take care of our kids, he's gonna take care of our family, he's gonna take care of our finances. We don't have to worry about those things. And that's what the enemy wants, is for us to stay focused on.
On worry.
[00:43:32] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:43:32] Speaker B: Because it distracts us from the kingdom of God and where he's calling us. So I would tell women on the other end, look, it's totally up to you, but if you don't do it, what's the. What's the cost?
Is it your life?
[00:43:46] Speaker A: Right.
[00:43:46] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:43:47] Speaker B: Is it. Is it custody of your kids? Is that worth it?
Like, is this substance worth it to you to lose everything.
[00:43:57] Speaker A: Wow.
[00:43:57] Speaker B: When everything could be added unto you.
[00:44:00] Speaker A: Amen.
[00:44:01] Speaker B: As you. As you step in faith. You know what I mean?
[00:44:03] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:44:04] Speaker B: So.
[00:44:04] Speaker A: Of course. That's beautiful.
[00:44:06] Speaker C: I don't know.
[00:44:06] Speaker B: Maybe I.
[00:44:07] Speaker A: No, no, no. I mean, I think. I think that was. I think that was very well said, honestly. And. Yeah, I know. I think there's, like, a way to navigate that because some ladies are dealing with heavy trauma and now they feel like they're being yelled at again. But at the same time, I just love that. That point, because at the end of the day, you know, they go into the program, they're afraid that they may lose everything. But you just mentioned a security blanket. There is a security blanket for them with all the resources you have access to and the other things you can connect them with and, you know, CPS and all that. Right. But also, yeah, if you don't go into the program, you're probably still going to lose that stuff anyway if you continue down the road you're on. So either you stick on that road and you lose it anyway, or you change the road you're on. And I think you said it perfectly. As the scripture says, all these things will be added unto you. It's really, really good. And so with that, I do want to also ask about loved ones. So family, friends, even, like, spiritual family. Their church members say that they see somebody they know. They have a daughter, they have a sister, they have a good friend, they have a member of their church, a lady who is struggling with these things. Maybe the addiction is noticeable, like drug use or alcoholism, or maybe the domestic violence is noticeable. Maybe the eating disorder is noticeable. What do you recommend those people do to. To talk to that person and. And help them, to seek help. What would you say to those person? What advice could you give to them and how they can properly approach those women without pushing them further away?
[00:45:43] Speaker B: I think, pray, use discernment, Ask the Holy Spirit to provide an opportunity for you to have that conversation. But I also think it's just approaching things in a way with kindness and compassion, self awareness, you know, your tone of voice makes a huge difference in a conversation like that. It doesn't have to be like, hey, I noticed X, Y and Z. You know, you can, you can have a conversation and say, hey, I love you, I want to see you okay. And it doesn't seem like you're okay.
Are you?
You know, and it's always asking a question and leading with love. I tell people all the time, like, we have to lead with love. People, people don't care what you're offering them if they don't think you care for them.
So when we're able to approach people and love on them, well, sometimes it's not having that conversation right away. If you don't have any relational with somebody, having that kind of conversation isn't going to go well.
So there are some cases where it does. It's like a random kind of conversation, one off thing. But most of the time it's, you know, showing up with a gift basket or just a gift card or something simple and sweet to say, like, hey, I was thinking about you and I love you and building that relational equity so that like there is trust.
Somebody doesn't trust you, they're not going to trust you with, like, they're not going to tell you the deep things that are going on in their life. You have to build trust first.
And so I guess what that comes down to is discipleship and seeing that in the everyday church and getting out of your seat, having a conversation, getting to know somebody that you might not otherwise get to know, instead of turning away, you know, face somebody, have a conversation with them and love on them. Well, yeah. Does that make sense?
[00:47:46] Speaker A: Yeah, no, of course.
[00:47:47] Speaker C: And that I was going to say approach with love. That's really all you can do. And plant the seed. They might not be ready to hear what you have to say, but if you plant the seed, allow God to water that. And you never know what's going to take place. It could be days, it could be years before that person goes, you know, I remember that lady told me about Teen Challenge, you know, and hopefully they'll be like, let me look into that, you know, after they've been running. And like you say, when you've been out there for, you know, 10 years running, what's 10 to 12 months in the span of what's gonna come next? So hopefully, you know, someone approaching them within that, which you said, I couldn't have said that better. That will be that first step of, okay, you know, there is another side of life because a lot of people focus on, oh, the world's so terrible. This happened to me, and all of this, this. But somebody just showing that simple act of kindness is. Is that first step of someone being like, well, okay, maybe somebody does care. Maybe somebody can care.
[00:48:49] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:48:50] Speaker C: You know, and that can be that first step. Get out of your seat. Be, you know, be comfortable with being uncomfortable.
And that's it.
Sometimes that means having those hard conversations, but that's. That's the best way to start. Yeah.
[00:49:03] Speaker A: And that definitely is what true love for somebody looks like as well, in terms of. Yeah, you got to have those tough conversations. But leading with love is so important. It makes me think of the. The love chapter, First Corinthians 13. At the very beginning, it says, doesn't matter what we do, you know, we. We speak with the tongues of angels in heaven, you know, and. And do all these other things. If we don't do with love, it's like a clanking symbol.
[00:49:27] Speaker B: Right.
[00:49:27] Speaker A: You know, it means nothing. It doesn't amount to anything.
No matter how right you are in doing the thing. It's how you do it. It's so important.
[00:49:37] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:49:37] Speaker A: And as we're talking about this makes me think. I mean, I was at the women's home yesterday. I was talking with a lady who's a volunteer there, and I was telling her a little bit about a friend of mine from high school who definitely, as we've talked about this whole conversation, what the, like, women have gone through. Like, she. She kind of fits this to this. The tea. Yeah, everything. And I was talking to her. I was like, you know, I had to actually basically cut that friendship off because it was unhealthy.
But a program like this didn't exist. The women's home. That is when I cut off that friendship. And so, you know, she had said through her experience in the program that someone had to come to her and just speak into her, the reason that she needed to be into this program.
And so I just kind of wonder, maybe there are people like me who knew a person like this, knew a guy, knew a girl like this, who. Maybe the relationship's been cut off because that was the best thing for them, is to cut off that relationship, not feed the unhealthy relationship. But maybe they want to bring the conversation back and speak into that person. Like, I would love to speak into this girl. My fiance and I would love to. I've talked to her about this, this. And so I just wonder, how do you speak into those conversations, maybe with someone you know very well, or maybe someone you're trying to rebuild that relationship with, but you see them and, you know, without a shadow of a doubt they need help. How would you speak into those people? And I mean, I know, like you said, lead with love and do all this stuff, but. But is there, like a blueprint? What would the blueprint be to. To do that and what to say?
[00:51:14] Speaker B: Maybe, I think, like I said before. Praying. Yeah, praying before you do it.
[00:51:19] Speaker A: Yes, of course.
[00:51:20] Speaker B: And. And discerning that completely. But I also think, to use wisdom, I think if you are connected with somebody who knows that person well, even loosely, to say, you know, you can write a letter, you can send a brochure, there can be reconciliation. To say, you know, I don't know how you feel towards me anymore since I ended this, this contact, but I want you to know that I care about your life and I just wanted you to know that there's. There's a group of women who, who want to love on you.
[00:52:01] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:52:02] Speaker B: And they're available when you're ready for help. And because then you're placing it in their hands, they can go to the Internet. And I mean, we are a very efficient generation when it comes to the Internet and social media, you know, so it won't take long for them to find where we're located and to go to the website or call our hope line. But I think that there's a number of ways to handle it appropriately.
It's praying about it, knowing that that's what the Lord's calling you to do, that it's.
Would be something that's beneficial for your life and in taking a step in that direction, sometimes it's just writing a letter and saying, you might hate me, but I want you to know that Jesus loves you and I've been praying for you.
My heart is so sad about what you're going through, and I want you to be okay.
And I know Jesus in Jesus, his heart burns for you.
[00:53:05] Speaker A: Amen.
[00:53:06] Speaker B: So if you have any interest at all, I think that you could reach out to this person and it's just. It's leaving the ball in their court. I don't know if that's practical, but in my mind, if I don't have a relationship with somebody, but. But the Lord's brought them up in my spirit.
That's how I'm going to handle it.
[00:53:26] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:53:26] Speaker B: To say, like, I want to handle it with respect always, but leading with love and compassion, to say, this is what I Can control. I can't control how they're going to feel or how they're going to react.
I can control this. And you never know somebody else that knows that might be sharing the same thing. You don't know what God's doing on their end and what God's doing in their heart.
So being obedient to the call that God has for you and your fiance or for anybody, not just in. Not just for you.
[00:54:00] Speaker A: Yeah, exactly.
[00:54:01] Speaker B: Anybody like being obedient to what God has called you to do in that situation. The Lord blesses that.
[00:54:08] Speaker A: Amen.
[00:54:09] Speaker C: Amen. Yeah, I agree. Yeah. I think, you know, the first step is just to reach out, you know, maybe try to find out where they're at, ask them what's been going on with them. You know, like, just allow that to be that. That barrier, you know, broken down to allow them to start to open up again. And then you can, you know, kind of be like, you know, this is. You've been on my heart. And I just wanted you to know that, you know, and if it doesn't. If it isn't productive, you know, then okay, but it might be. And like she said, you never know what the Lord's doing. So it could just be a confirmation for them that, you know, somebody else is telling them about this program or telling them about resources or, you know, and so it's just amazing what God's doing in the background that you don't always get to see those pieces, but you can be a part of that.
So I definitely encourage anyone to be obedient to that call. If God's putting it on your heart, then have the conversation.
[00:55:06] Speaker A: Yeah, that's wonderful advice. And definitely I'm going to do that as I work on reaching out to this individual, this friend of mine, and encouraging her. And after we're done here, we should definitely pray for her.
But maybe we've kind of already answered this question honestly, but I still want to get your thoughts. Now. Say you do reach out to this person, like, anybody. Like, not necessarily someone you're estranged from, but just someone you know and you love and you're close with. And you say, hey, I would like you. You should get some help. And you referred them, but they reject it. They don't want the help. And they, like you said, they're just not ready.
What do you do in that instance? How do you still minister to that person without pushing them away further now that they have actually rejected the offer to seek help?
[00:56:01] Speaker C: I mean, ultimately, I would say, you know, you. You've planted that seed. Yeah, let that. Let that be, you know, and just show them love.
Just meet them with love every time. Just okay. You know, I just wanted to put that out there, you know, and then you can just treat them like the human being that they are, and hopefully that act will be what really goes okay. Well, maybe they do just care, you know, it's not just, oh, you need help, you need a program, but it's, oh, no, maybe that person really does have the heart to see what I can't see right now and to, you know, give me help in that manner. So hopefully that. That is really it. But if they're adamantly rejecting the fact you're not gonna force it, there is not. You're not gonna break through that. Only God can do that.
They have to be at a place where they themselves, their heart is ready to really fully surrender to that process, because that's what's gonna make the difference. Because it's like I think she said earlier, you know, you can't just come in the program and. And not be willing, because if you're not willing, you're gonna come in and leave the same way that you came.
And it's just not gonna be effective. It's not.
You're not gonna gain anything if you're. You're not even willing to give it a shot, you know, so that's. But if they're not ready, then they're not ready. And unfortunately, a lot of people aren't ready. And that's okay, you know, and you can pray that God will. Will continue to protect them until they are ready.
[00:57:39] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:57:40] Speaker A: Amen. That's good.
[00:57:43] Speaker B: Yeah. I mean, not. My thoughts aren't that much different than what we were talking about before, but in saying that we're not friends with people to get them to do things, you know.
[00:57:58] Speaker A: Wow.
[00:57:59] Speaker B: You think about. I think about something like marriage. You can't anticipate if your spouse is ever gonna change.
You're choosing to love this person. And obviously a friendship is different than marriage in that sense. You know, your commitment level and all that stuff. But it's to say that just because somebody reject. They're not rejecting me, they're rejecting the program.
And I can, as like a mature individual that loves Jesus, I can still find fully love you and.
And not hold it against you that you've rejected a program.
I can still show up. Well, yeah. And be your friend and not take it personally. There's so many different, like, scenarios that could go into that. I think that it's super wise to use discernment and to understand, like, appropriate boundaries.
But ultimately, I have a lot of friends that aren't saved.
And they know that I love Jesus, but that doesn't stop me from sharing my experience with God with them.
And they're also like emotionally healthy individuals outside of not having faith in Jesus, you know, but you can maintain an appropriate, healthy relationship and friendship with somebody knowing that, like, they have issues and other things. Like, you can still be a good friend and you can still disciple them and when they are ready because, like, the more that, that they're around the spirit of God inside of you, they're experiencing Jesus, they're experiencing love. Yeah. We have this incredible opportunity to be a light in Syracuse.
And I don't need everybody to, to join, to join me.
I can still show up and be who God's called me to be. Yeah. And I know that as I do that repeatedly, I have had so many friends reach out to me and they say, hey, I know that you're religious, but you know that I'm not. And I really need some prayer. Can you pray for me?
[01:00:12] Speaker A: Amen.
[01:00:13] Speaker B: Like, can I come to church with you?
[01:00:14] Speaker A: Yes.
[01:00:15] Speaker B: A lot of my friends, the first time walking into a church was my, was my wedding. So it's, you know, let the spirit of God inside of you.
Show people Jesus.
[01:00:29] Speaker A: Amen.
[01:00:30] Speaker B: You don't have to shove a Bible down their throat.
[01:00:32] Speaker A: Yes.
[01:00:32] Speaker B: You can just love them well and be a good human, be a good friend and pray for their heart. Because we can't change people's hearts. Only God can.
[01:00:42] Speaker A: Amen.
[01:00:43] Speaker C: Amen.
[01:00:44] Speaker A: Yeah, we're not the converters, we're the messengers.
[01:00:47] Speaker B: Right.
[01:00:47] Speaker A: And that's beautifully said. I feel like that's the model that I've been following in my life to the best of my ability. Of course. We need the Lord's help and the spirit of the Lord, as you mentioned. And I'm seeing breakthrough in people's lives, friends and family. And maybe they're not all the way there yet, but they're getting there. And, you know, that's encouragement. It's a reason to keep fighting and to keep praying. Two more quick questions before we wrap up.
The first one is I asked the guys this, you know, because we're dealing with a men's home and a women's home. They each cater to men and women separately. I asked them, and I want to ask you too, is there a difference on how people should minister to men and women with these issues?
And if so, like, what are your recommendations on that someone who wants to help a man versus someone who wants to help a woman and seek help in this manner.
[01:01:42] Speaker C: I mean, I don't think it's specifically different.
[01:01:45] Speaker B: Yeah.
[01:01:46] Speaker C: You know, I mean, everybody. Everybody has issues and everybody needs, you know, somebody to speak into them.
[01:01:52] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:01:53] Speaker C: And point them in the right direction. Sometimes that's really all it is.
[01:01:57] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:01:58] Speaker C: So I don't think there's specific, you know, differences in how you would really, you know, approach someone on the topic.
But everybody's different. Everybody's different. You know, me talking to one woman doesn't mean it's going to be the same conversation as the other woman.
You know, so it's. It's hard to even justify, you know, having the same exact conversation because most likely it's not going to go the same way. So that. That would bode the same for speaking with men or speaking with women. It's really just, again, showing. Showing who Jesus is in you and guiding them in the right direction. And hopefully that will be enough to. To start that process.
[01:02:38] Speaker A: Amen.
[01:02:38] Speaker C: Yeah.
[01:02:38] Speaker B: I think that, like I said earlier, understanding that there, There is a difference between, like, men and women and, like, their needs, or at least the focus of their needs. Yeah. But I also, like I mentioned, I used the. The phrase relational equity earlier.
[01:02:54] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:02:55] Speaker B: And that's something that I learned a while ago, and I love talking about it because I think that's really important. I'm not going to approach my best friend in the world the same way that I'm going to approach somebody that I'm just meeting. Street.
[01:03:08] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:03:09] Speaker B: It's got to be different because with my best friend, I can say, hey, there's an issue here.
[01:03:15] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:03:15] Speaker B: Whereas somebody on the street, I'm going to say, how's it going?
You know, like, I've been. I'm going to lead a little bit differently. Like, nice to meet you. I'm going to bring up, you know, I'm going to try to meet some sort of need in a way to. To build that relational equity. Because as we do that, I think that is my husband and I will say, like, I'm gonna cash in some relational equity on this conversation.
Not even necessarily to each other, but with other friends. Like, because it's something in our inner circle that we've said a lot. I can start a conversation with a good friend of mine and say, so I'm gonna cash in some relational equity today by having a hard conversation. And they know ahead of time, like, this might not be, like, the most fun conversation that I'm Having. But this person loves me, and I know that they. That they love me well over X amount of years that we've known each other and how they've shown up for me. And I can't say that same thing to somebody I'm just meeting because there's nothing to go off of.
[01:04:15] Speaker A: Right.
[01:04:16] Speaker B: So I say that to say when it comes to, like, practically approaching different people, I'm not going to approach a man on the street by myself.
[01:04:29] Speaker A: Yeah, okay.
[01:04:29] Speaker B: You know, I'm gonna. I'm gonna have my husband with me or I'm going to have, like, somebody from the men's home with me to go and do that. In the same way that one of the. The guys at the men's home, when they're out doing storefronts, things like that, they're not talking to a woman necessarily one on one. There's somebody else there that, like either another guy or sometimes one of the girls from the women's home is also there.
[01:04:53] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:04:54] Speaker B: So it's maintaining that, like, accountability.
[01:04:57] Speaker A: Yes.
[01:04:58] Speaker B: Which I think is super important, especially it's something that we talk a lot about at Teen Challenge is having accountability. So I think practically speaking, that's a good rule of thumb, you know.
[01:05:09] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:05:10] Speaker B: So I don't know. I totally. I think. I don't know if that's necessarily what you were talking about, but I always like to say that as like, something that's helpful and a good rule of thumb to carry through a Christian life.
[01:05:22] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. I. Because, you know, the. The men mentioned the same thing. Having accountability and boundaries are super important. And because I've run into other situations where I didn't always have the best boundaries, not that I did anything overtly sinful, but because of that boundary. You know, the scripture says in First Thessalonians, I think it's chapter 5, verse 23.
It says that we are to abstain from all appearances of evil.
[01:05:48] Speaker B: Right.
[01:05:49] Speaker A: So when you're trying to minister to someone, you could be doing the right thing, but it might not look like the right thing, and the motivation may not be there or, like, could be askewed, basically. So, yeah, like, even the situation with my, like, my friend, this girl, I'm going to have my fiance there. And I've always felt comfortable having conversations like that with her around and. And vice versa. Like, if she's going to talk to a man, I either, like, want her to have me there and let her speak week, or sometimes she doesn't feel too comfortable, and I'm like, well, I can do the talking and you can be there. You know what I mean? So, yeah, I think that's totally important. And I. Yeah, I'm glad you brought that up, because I. I think that's utterly important about this issue. But really, anything.
And that's a whole nother conversation, so.
[01:06:35] Speaker C: But anyway, that's another podcast, right?
[01:06:37] Speaker A: Exactly. Exactly. Yes. But, yeah. Before we wrap up, ladies, is there anything that I didn't ask you about that you'd like to share with the audience before we leave? Any last parting thoughts as we close?
[01:06:49] Speaker B: Gosh, I felt like we covered a lot.
[01:06:52] Speaker A: We did.
[01:06:54] Speaker B: I guess the only thing that I would want to say to anybody is, like, don't. Don't be afraid to ask for help, because we've all asked for help at some point or another.
There's zero embarrassment, zero shame. And if you feel embarrassment and shame, just know, like, that's not of God.
Like, that's not what we're going to meet you with. It's not about shame. It's not about any of that. It's that the blood of Jesus wipes that all away.
[01:07:22] Speaker A: Amen.
[01:07:23] Speaker B: And this is coming into a program. Whether it's the men's home or the women's home, we want to see you walk in freedom. You don't have to live as an addict. You don't have to live with an eating disorder, with depression, anxiety, like, all of those things. You don't have to live that way.
[01:07:37] Speaker C: Yeah.
[01:07:38] Speaker B: And, like, there is freedom, but you have to take the first step.
[01:07:42] Speaker A: Amen.
[01:07:43] Speaker C: Yeah, No, I agree. Take the step.
That's the best thing that could be done is to reach out, share the information that you have, share your resources.
Just show up for the people.
And, yeah, call.
Don't hesitate. Get the help that you need.
And like she said, don't be ashamed of that. We have literally all asked for help. I am so glad that, you know, I had someone in my life to speak into me, to be like, hey, you need this program. And I went, I don't want to, but okay. And I did, and I am so grateful that I did. And I. And like I say, that's where I met Jesus. And that has been the transformation in my life. So I, you know, take. Take the step. That's really all it is. Make the phone call.
[01:08:33] Speaker A: Amen. Amen. That's really good. And praise God for that. Just being present and available when it's healthy, I guess.
I mean, I don't really have anything else to add other than. On the last one, I read a Scripture to close. And I'm going to read this scripture. Maybe this scripture is going to speak to somebody who maybe knows a loved one suffering from addiction or speaking to those who have addiction, particularly women. And you know, maybe I'm just hoping that maybe this scripture will be a good one to read and will speak to somebody. This is in First Thessalonians, chapter 5, verses 4 through 8. And it says, but you brethren are not in darkness, that that day should overtake you as a thief. You are all the children of light and the children of the day. We are not of the night nor of darkness. Therefore let us not sleep as to others, but let us watch and be sober. For they that sleep, sleep in the night, and they that be drunken are drunken in the night. But let us who are of the day be sober. Putting on the breastplate of faith and love and for an helmet, the hope of salvation. And also just one more quick here, Matthew 26:41. Watch and pray that you enter not into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak. So hopefully that spoke to somebody, those scriptures. Hopefully those were good ones to share. But yeah, the answer, I think is very clear is Jesus. He is the answer. And we just pray for anybody watching, men and women alike, I guess, in this case women, right, who are watching, but and the loved ones of them, that the answer is Jesus. And prayer is important.
So I think that's a good place to wrap up. Ladies, thank you so much. Emily, Tanya, thank you so much for watching Making the Journey here to the One north studio on Max Impact. And thank you so much for tuning in to this episode of Max Impact. And thank you for helping us make a maximum impact for the kingdom of God. Until next time, God bless you all.
